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Children told lies by parents subsequently lie more as adults, face adjustment difficulty

小時候被父母騙的孩子長大后更容易撒謊而且在適應社會方面會遇到困難

"If you don't behave, I'll call the police," is a lie that parents might use to get their young children to behave. Parents' lies elicit compliance in the short term, but a new psychology study led by Nanyang Technological University, Singapore (NTU Singapore) suggests that they are associated with detrimental effects when the child becomes an adult.

“如果你不聽話，我就叫警察來”，為了讓孩子聽話，父母可能會這樣騙孩子。這樣的謊言可以讓孩子在短期內順從。但是，由新加坡南洋理工大學所做的一項新心理研究表明，當孩子長大后，父母的這些謊言會給孩子帶來不利影響。

The research team asked 379 Singaporean young adults whether their parents lied to them when they were children, how much they lie to their parents now, and how well they adjust to adulthood challenges.

針對在小時候，父母是否向他們撒謊，現在他們向父母撒謊的程度以及他們對成年后所遇到困難的適應情況，研究團隊詢問了379位新加坡年輕人。

Adults who reported being lied to more as children, were more likely to report lying to their parents in their adulthood. They also said they faced greater difficulty in meeting psychological and social challenges. Adjustment difficulties include disruptiveness, conduct problems, experience of guilt and shame, as well as selfish and manipulative character.

報告在孩提時經常被父母騙的年輕人更有可能表示他們在成年后也會對父母撒謊。他們也表示，在面對心理和社會挑戰時，他們會面臨更大的困難。適應性方面的困難包括無法堅持、行為問題，罪惡感和羞愧感以及自私和愛耍手段。

The research, done in collaboration with Canada's University of Toronto, the United States' University of California, San Diego, and China's Zhejiang Normal University, was published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology in September.

這項與加拿大多倫多大學、美國加利福尼亞大學、美國圣地亞哥大學以及中國浙江師范大學合作開展的研究發表于9月份的《兒童實驗心理學》期刊上。

Lead author Assistant Professor Setoh Peipei from NTU Singapore's School of Social Sciences said, "Parenting by lying can seem to save time especially when the real reasons behind why parents want children to do something is complicated to explain. When parents tell children that 'honesty is the best policy', but display dishonesty by lying, such behaviour can send conflicting messages to their children. Parents' dishonesty may eventually erode trust and promote dishonesty in children."

研究首席作者，新加坡南洋理工大學社會科學學院的助教Setoh Peipei表示：“使用欺騙的方法教育孩子似乎是一條捷徑，特別是當父母想要孩子做某些事情的真實原因很難去解釋時。當父母教導孩子‘要誠實’，但父母自己卻又通過撒謊表現出不誠實時，這一行為會向孩子傳遞互相矛盾的信息。父母的不誠實可能最終會破壞信任并導致孩子也變得不誠實。”

"Our research suggests that parenting by lying is a practice that has negative consequences for children when they grow up. Parents should be aware of these potential downstream implications and consider alternatives to lying, such as acknowledging children's feelings, giving information so children know what to expect, offering choices and problem-solving together, to elicit good behaviour from children."

“我們的研究表明，通過欺騙來教育孩子會在孩子長大后產生負面影響。父母應該了解這些潛在的不利影響并考慮嘗試其他的替代方案，比如表示理解孩子的感受，告訴孩子實際情況，這樣孩子就可以知道需要面對的情況，為孩子提供選擇和解決問題的方法。這些都可以激發出孩子好的行為。”

How the study was done

研究開展的方法

379 Singaporean young adults completed four online questionnaires.

379位新加坡青年完成四項在線問卷調查。

The first questionnaire asked participants to recall if their parents told them lies that related to eating; leaving and/or staying; children's misbehaviour; and spending money. Some examples of such lies are "If you don't come with me now, I will leave you here by yourself" and "I did not bring money with me today, we can come back another day."

第一組問卷調查會讓參與者回憶，父母在關于吃飯、離開和/或留下來、孩子淘氣時和花錢方面，是否騙過他們；這類謊言包括“如果現在不走的話，那你自己待在這兒吧”和“我今天沒帶錢，我們下次再來。”

The second questionnaire asked participants to indicate how frequently as adults they lied to their parents. It asked about lies in relation to their activities and actions; prosocial lies (or lies intended to benefit others); and exaggerations about events.

第二組問卷調查請參與者回答他們向父母撒謊的頻率。有關撒謊的問題包括與他們的行為和做法有關的謊言；親社會謊言（或旨在讓他人受益的謊言）以及對事情的夸大描述。

Lastly, participants filled in two questionnaires that measured their self-reported psychosocial maladjustment and tendency to behave selfishly and impulsively.

最后，參與者會完成兩項旨在測量其自我描述的心理失調和自私和沖動傾向的問卷調查。

The analysis found that parenting by lying could place children at a greater risk of developing problems that the society frowns upon, such as aggression, rule-breaking and intrusive behaviours.

分析發現，通過欺騙來教育孩子的方法可能會讓孩子更容易產生社會所排斥的行為，比如侵略性、不守規則以及影響他人的行為。

Some limitations of the study include relying on what young adults report about their retrospective experience of parents' lying. "Future research can explore using multiple informants, such as parents, to report on the same variables," suggested Asst Prof Setoh.

研究的某些局限性包括依靠年輕人來回憶并介紹父母的撒謊情況。Setoh表示：“未來的研究還會利用多個信息來源展開研究，比如請父母對同一變量發表看法。”

The authors also pointed out that as the study is correlational in design, which aims to find out the naturally occurring relationships between variables, they are unable to draw causal inferences.

作者還指出，由于研究采用相關性設計，其目的是找到變量之間天然存在的關系，因此研究無法得出因果推斷。

Another area yet to be investigated would be the nature of the lies or goals of the parent. Asst Prof Setoh said, "It is possible that a lie to assert the parents' power, such as saying 'If you don't behave, we will throw you into the ocean to feed the fish', may be more related to children's adjustment difficulties as adults, compared to lies that target children's compliance, e.g. 'there is no more candy in the house'.

另一個需要研究的領域可能是撒謊的本意或父母的目的。助教Setoh表示：“與希望孩子聽話來欺騙孩子，比如‘家里沒有糖了’相比，一個為了確立父母威信的謊言，比如‘如果你表現不好，我們就把你扔到海里去喂魚’可能會與孩子在成人后所出現的適應性困難有更大的關聯。”

"Authority assertion over children is a form of psychological intrusiveness, which may undermine children's sense of autonomy and convey rejection, ultimately undermining children's emotional well-being. Future research should examine the nature of the lies and goals of the parents so that researchers can suggest what kind of lies to avoid, and what kind of truth-telling parents should engage in."

“對孩子表示權威是一種心理侵入，這可能會破壞孩子的自主感并導致排斥，最終破壞孩子的情感健康。未來的研究應檢查謊言的本質和父母撒謊的目的，這樣研究人員就可以給出哪些謊言需要避免以及哪類真話父母應該告訴孩子的建議。”

文章來源：科學日報   編輯：Susan